I lost 12 pounds

It is a rather interesting thing to try and lose weight with a completely neutral feeling towards the changes my body will make. 

The only reason I’m trying to lose weight is because of my health; because my body is fighting against me and I have to fight back. Losing weight is necessary for me if I want to lessen my PCOS symptoms. It’s the only reason I want to lose weight. If I were still healthy at the weight I am now, I wouldn’t give two shits about changing my habits. I’m fat, and I am content with my fatness. Hey, 16 year old me, bet you never thought those words would come out of my mouth!

It’s funny. Every other time I tried to lose weight, I cried and disdained my body and would be obsessed with the disheartening static number on the scale. Okay, not necessarily funny..

But now, it’s simply a thing I’m doing. It isn’t a huge ordeal that will end in me hating myself when my body doesn’t shrink in a day. If I’m happy as I am now, and I totally am, losing weight will not change anything. My body does not define me. The pounds I lose will not turn into magical self-love coins I can cash in at the bank. I wish I had realized that years ago.